Cat Humor


welcome
THINGS YOU CAN LEARN FROM YOUR CAT

tabbyHi There! I’m Tiger and I’ll reveal to you a fewtricks of my trade.1. Make the world your playground.2. Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps.

3. If you can’t get your way, lay across the keyboard ’til you do.

4. When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.

5. Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.

 

6. Nap often

tabbyI’m Cuttles Tigers my daddy.

7. When in trouble, just purr and look cute.

8. Life is hard, and then you nap.

9. Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.

10. When in doubt, cop an attitude.

11. Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them. After that you can use their laps for napping.

12. Climb your way to the top, that’s why the curtains are there.

13. Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.

14. Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them,"I care".

15. When you have someting important to say, try to say it in the dead of night when you’re certain everyone’s sleeping. There’s no better way to get the attention you deserve.

 

What is a Cat? They’re tiny women in little fur coats.

And I’m Sniffles,  meow-a-choo

1) Cats do what they want.

2) They rarely listen to you.

3) They’re totally unpredictable.

4) They whine when they are not happy.

5) When you want to play, they want to be alone.

6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.

7) They expect you to cater to their every whim.

8) They’re moody

9) They leave hair everywhere.

10) They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

pinkpanther

  1. You never feed me.
    Perhaps I’ll sleep on your face.
    That will sure show you.

  2. You must scratch me there!
    Yes, above my tail!
    Behold, elevator butt.

  3. The rule for today
    Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
    New rule tomorrow.

  4. In deep sleep hear sound
    cat vomit hairball somewhere
    will find in morning.

  5. Grace personified.
    I leap into the window.
    I meant to do that.

  6. Blur of motion, then —
    silence, me, a paper bag.
    What is so funny?

  7. The mighty hunter
    Returns with gifts of plump birds —
    Your foot just squashed one.

  8. You’re always typing.
    Well, let’s see you ignore my
    sitting on your hands.

  9. My small cardboard box.
    You cannot see me if I
    can just hide my head.

  10. Terrible battle.
    I fought for hours. Come and see!
    What’s a ‘term paper’?
    kittyrun
  1. Kitty likes plastic
    Confuses for litter box
    Don’t leave tarp around

  2. Small brave carnivores
    Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
    Fear vacuum cleaner

  3. I want to be close
    to you. Can I fit my head
    inside your armpit?

  4. Wanna go outside.
    Oh, shit! Help! I got outside!
    Let me back inside!

  5. Oh no! Big One
    has been trapped by newspaper!
    Cat to the rescue!

  6. Humans are so strange.
    Mine lies still in bed, then screams
    My claws are not that sharp.

  7. Cats meow out of angst
    "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
    We could break so much!"

  8. Litter box not here
    You must have moved it again
    I’ll crap in the sink

  9. The Big Ones snore now
    Every room is dark and cold
    Time for "Cup Hockey"

  10. We’re almost equals
    I purr to show I love you
    Want to smell my butt?
  11. .

    kittyduoMEOW

 

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